Confession time: I'm really nervous about becoming the mother of two boys in the next five weeks or less. Somehow, this pregnancy has managed to sneak by me, and all of a sudden I'm 34 weeks pregnant. The c-section is scheduled for December 31st. That's only 34 days away. At this point, I'm really hoping Reid doesn't come any earlier than that, because I do not feel prepared for this at all! We are so not organized this time around. Reid's room is full of baby shower gifts and piles of baby clothes that need to be washed and put away, and there's no curtain on his window yet. I keep reminding myself that he won't be sleeping in there immediately, that he'll be in our room for a few months before we transition him to his own room, so it's okay if the nursery isn't picture perfect right now. However, those clothes do eventually need to be washed. If my newborn goes around wearing nothing but diapers in the middle of December, people might give us strange looks.
I will say that I'm not as concerned about caring for a newborn as I was with my first pregnancy. After experiencing motherhood for nearly two years, I feel like I've got this. I know what to do. So, what am I nervous about? Well... I'm not blissfully ignorant anymore. I know what to expect. For example...
C-section recoveries suck.
The first time I was pregnant, I anticipated as natural a birth experience as possible. So of course, I ended up with a long labor, Pitocin, IV antibiotics and fluids, an epidural, having my water broken by the doctor, an epidural, more Pitocin, and finally a c-section. And the worst part of it all? Recovering from surgery. I've never been in that much pain in my life, and I don't relish the idea of doing it again (hopefully minus the labor part this time).
Breastfeeding is hard.
At least for me it was. Colin ended up getting about four weeks worth of breast milk before I made the decision to switch to formula. My first experience with breastfeeding was painful, frustrating, and not at all the sweet, comfortable, bonding experience I thought it would be. I do plan to give it another shot this time, though, and I'm bringing a lactation consultant on board from the very beginning.
It may be years before I sleep again.
We've all heard the stories: "My baby slept through the night from the time he came home from the hospital! Motherhood is so amazingly wonderful and I'm not tired at all!" I call BS. Colin didn't sleep through the night for a very long time, and he still wakes up as early as 5:30 some mornings. Since this pregnancy was a surprise, I am only planning on taking 8 weeks off for maternity leave. Add to that a cranky toddler and a newborn who will surely not be sleeping through the night, and I can tell you right now that I'm going to be a walking zombie once I go back to work.
Oh, and there's the toddler.
The biggest difference between these two pregnancies? I have a toddler at home this time. Colin is a very sweet boy who gives his mama kisses and hugs, but he can also throw some epic tantrums. He is easily the most persistent almost-two year old I've ever met, and if, God forbid, you take something away from him or tell him no, he will kick, scream and cry as if his whole world has just come crashing down. How I am going to handle these toddler outbursts while tending to a newborn? I have no idea. And what if he's jealous of the new baby? Will it kill him to know that his mommy can't focus all her attention on him anymore? Will it kill me to not pick him up, change his diaper, give him a bath, or prepare his meals while I'm recovering from surgery? Does Colin even have a clue that our whole family dynamic is about to change?
There are more concerns floating around in my head than just the few I've mentioned, but those are the ones that are currently taking up the most space in my brain. I think my life verse is quickly becoming Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." This will be my mantra from here on out. Honestly, even this pregnancy has drained me more than I've expected it to, because there is just so much going on right now, and I haven't had a whole lot of time to think about what it will mean to have two little ones. Sorry if this post has gotten a little depressing. You wouldn't know it from everything I've just said, but I really am excited about our new arrival! The thought of being able to hold my little Reid William in my arms warms this mama's heart. Will there be tough moments? Yes, of course there will be. But will it all work out? I know it will. Hopefully I'm overthinking all of this, and once Reid is here, everything will fall into place. But in the meantime, say a prayer for us, won't you? :)
I will say that I'm not as concerned about caring for a newborn as I was with my first pregnancy. After experiencing motherhood for nearly two years, I feel like I've got this. I know what to do. So, what am I nervous about? Well... I'm not blissfully ignorant anymore. I know what to expect. For example...
C-section recoveries suck.
The first time I was pregnant, I anticipated as natural a birth experience as possible. So of course, I ended up with a long labor, Pitocin, IV antibiotics and fluids, an epidural, having my water broken by the doctor, an epidural, more Pitocin, and finally a c-section. And the worst part of it all? Recovering from surgery. I've never been in that much pain in my life, and I don't relish the idea of doing it again (hopefully minus the labor part this time).
Breastfeeding is hard.
At least for me it was. Colin ended up getting about four weeks worth of breast milk before I made the decision to switch to formula. My first experience with breastfeeding was painful, frustrating, and not at all the sweet, comfortable, bonding experience I thought it would be. I do plan to give it another shot this time, though, and I'm bringing a lactation consultant on board from the very beginning.
It may be years before I sleep again.
We've all heard the stories: "My baby slept through the night from the time he came home from the hospital! Motherhood is so amazingly wonderful and I'm not tired at all!" I call BS. Colin didn't sleep through the night for a very long time, and he still wakes up as early as 5:30 some mornings. Since this pregnancy was a surprise, I am only planning on taking 8 weeks off for maternity leave. Add to that a cranky toddler and a newborn who will surely not be sleeping through the night, and I can tell you right now that I'm going to be a walking zombie once I go back to work.
Oh, and there's the toddler.
The biggest difference between these two pregnancies? I have a toddler at home this time. Colin is a very sweet boy who gives his mama kisses and hugs, but he can also throw some epic tantrums. He is easily the most persistent almost-two year old I've ever met, and if, God forbid, you take something away from him or tell him no, he will kick, scream and cry as if his whole world has just come crashing down. How I am going to handle these toddler outbursts while tending to a newborn? I have no idea. And what if he's jealous of the new baby? Will it kill him to know that his mommy can't focus all her attention on him anymore? Will it kill me to not pick him up, change his diaper, give him a bath, or prepare his meals while I'm recovering from surgery? Does Colin even have a clue that our whole family dynamic is about to change?
What do you mean when you say I'm getting a little brother, Mom? |
There are more concerns floating around in my head than just the few I've mentioned, but those are the ones that are currently taking up the most space in my brain. I think my life verse is quickly becoming Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." This will be my mantra from here on out. Honestly, even this pregnancy has drained me more than I've expected it to, because there is just so much going on right now, and I haven't had a whole lot of time to think about what it will mean to have two little ones. Sorry if this post has gotten a little depressing. You wouldn't know it from everything I've just said, but I really am excited about our new arrival! The thought of being able to hold my little Reid William in my arms warms this mama's heart. Will there be tough moments? Yes, of course there will be. But will it all work out? I know it will. Hopefully I'm overthinking all of this, and once Reid is here, everything will fall into place. But in the meantime, say a prayer for us, won't you? :)