I first met Mama G on the "Trying to Get Pregnant" message board on TheBump.com. We were, as the name of the board implies, trying to conceive at the same time. We both ended up conceiving our babies right around the same time. Now, her precious baby girl, Carina, is 8 months old. Now, Mama G writes about her adventures in mommyhood on her blog, Growing Up Geeky. She also hosts Toddle Along Tuesday, a blog hop for pregnancy and baby blogs. You should go link up! I love to connect with other mom-bloggers. You should check it out!
I admire Mama G not only because she's such a great mom to Carina, but also because she has some pretty insightful things to say. She recently blogged about something that's been on my mind pretty often, so I thought I'd share it here with you today (with her permission, of course). And so, without further ado, please welcome guest blogger Mama G :)
Moms - it would be better if we stopped at "Yes" or "No"
Moms, I think we do ourselves a disservice by always feeling the need to justify our decisions. I have been thinking about this a lot since my post regarding my love of breastfeeding.
If someone asks me if I am choosing to be a stay-at-home-Mom, my response could be as simple as "Yes" or "No". Why elaborate?
Even the most well intentioned, "I love being home with my kids" could make the questioner feel as though I am insinuating that she doesn't have a strong bond with her children. Similarly, if a working Mom responds, "well, I am educated and think that working makes me a good role model for my kids" could come across as implying that only the uneducated would ever stay-at-home, and that they could not be good role models for their children.
This applies to so many of our parenting decisions and might really help ameliorate the "Mommy Wars" tension that seems to make so many of us feelguilty inadequate on a daily basis.
Breastfeeding? No.
vs.
Breastfeeding? No, eww. Boobs are toys not tools.
Cloth diapers? Yes.
vs.
Cloth diapers? Yes, I would never fill a landfill with hundreds of tons of crap.
Do you let your baby cry it out? No.
vs.
Do you let your baby cry it out? No, I want my baby to be securely attached to me.
Staying at home? Yes.
vs.
Staying at home? Yes, I don't want my baby to reach for the Nanny when she is upset.
Yes or No. Easy as that. No smugness, no chance of misinterpretation...just the truth, free of judgment or implications.
Let's try this, Moms! Maybe we can help each other feel better about ourselves and our parenting decisions with simple Yes/No answers. What do you think?
If someone asks me if I am choosing to be a stay-at-home-Mom, my response could be as simple as "Yes" or "No". Why elaborate?
Even the most well intentioned, "I love being home with my kids" could make the questioner feel as though I am insinuating that she doesn't have a strong bond with her children. Similarly, if a working Mom responds, "well, I am educated and think that working makes me a good role model for my kids" could come across as implying that only the uneducated would ever stay-at-home, and that they could not be good role models for their children.
This applies to so many of our parenting decisions and might really help ameliorate the "Mommy Wars" tension that seems to make so many of us feel
Breastfeeding? No.
vs.
Breastfeeding? No, eww. Boobs are toys not tools.
Cloth diapers? Yes.
vs.
Cloth diapers? Yes, I would never fill a landfill with hundreds of tons of crap.
Do you let your baby cry it out? No.
vs.
Do you let your baby cry it out? No, I want my baby to be securely attached to me.
Staying at home? Yes.
vs.
Staying at home? Yes, I don't want my baby to reach for the Nanny when she is upset.
Yes or No. Easy as that. No smugness, no chance of misinterpretation...just the truth, free of judgment or implications.
Let's try this, Moms! Maybe we can help each other feel better about ourselves and our parenting decisions with simple Yes/No answers. What do you think?
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