Praying for Nana

I keep trying to think of something clever, or funny, or interesting to write, but I'm struggling. Many of my thoughts right now revolve around my 86 year old "Nana" (my Dad's mom) whose physical health is quickly deteriorating. She had a heart attack last week when my parents were here visiting, which definitely changed the tone of the rest of our time together. Apparently Nana recognized the symptoms she was having and knew it was her heart, and since she was alone, she called 911. An ambulance came and rushed her to a nearby hospital, where she had emergency double bypass surgery. We weren't sure she would make it through the long surgery, but she pulled through.

Nana, last summer when we all had a great visit in Michigan

Since then, she's had a lot of ups and downs. It was days before she could handle being off the ventilator, but once they removed it her blood oxygen level plummeted and her heart rate dropped, so she had to go back on it. Being intubated gives her so much anxiety that she has to be heavily medicated to keep her from pulling the tubes out, so she isn't awake very often right now. As if that wasn't enough, all the medications she's on have to be filtered through her kidneys, which were weak to begin with and are now starting to fail. She has also developed jaundice over the last couple days.

She has been firm about not wanting to be on dialysis or a ventilator for life, and has signed a do not resuscitate order. She doesn't want any "heroic measures" taken from here on out. My dad, brother, and aunt are there with her now, and this morning they are meeting with her doctors to get some more answers and talk through her options.

I realize that at 86 years old, this is just so much for her body to deal with, and it doesn't seem to be handling the treatments very well. She is a fighter, but she's only as strong as her mortal body, and I know we won't get to keep her here on Earth forever. It's so bittersweet to think that this might be the end. I don't want her to be in pain or to suffer, and I know that the love of her life is waiting for her in heaven. So even though I don't want her to die, I know that something far better than this life awaits her. If you can spare a prayer, dear readers, please send one up for my Nana.