Keep on Keepin' On

In my recent 10 Things About Me post, I talked a little bit about something that I don't often mention here on the blog, but that is always at the back of my mind:

Growing up, I always pictured myself as a stay at home mom. I've never had a solid career goal because family has always been my #1 focus. I still feel that way even though I have a full-time job. I work to support my family, not because I place a high value on this job, or even on the idea of being a working woman in general. I work because we can't afford for me not to. Given the chance, I would gladly raise my children at home.

I received a comment on that blog post that really got me thinking. Kate from A Work in Progress asked, "If being a working mom isn't your first choice, how do you keep on keeping on? I find it so hard! Looking for advice from other moms who make it work."

To answer this, let me start with a little background. Justin and I married young. We were very much in love, had our heads in the clouds, and didn't know a whole lot about our future except that we wanted to spend it together. We always knew we'd have children one day, but the rest was kind of fuzzy. He was working full time, and I was a full time college student {with no idea what I really wanted to do} so I made the big move from Michigan to South Carolina to be with him, where his job was, and to work toward my degree. Four years later, in 2009, I finally completed my BA in English. When people asked me what I wanted to do with it, I didn't have a great answer. I was working at the University of South Carolina, and once I was finished with my degree, I landed a full time position.

I'm still working there now, at the Service Desk, helping people change their passwords, log into their e-mail accounts, and connect to wi-fi. If you would have told me a few years ago that at 26, I would still be working in the technology field, I would have laughed. I like my job because it gives me the opportunity to work with people, which I enjoy. But, if we're being honest here, the highlight of each day is opening the door of our little house to find my boys waiting there for me.

I work, not because I love to work, or feel some sort of feminist pride by being a "career woman," but because we have bills to pay. A lot of them, thanks to the mountain of student loans I managed to accrue. It's kind of ironic that I'm working in a field unrelated to my degree, and struggling to pay for that degree, isn't it?

I've thought about teaching, which would give me more time off to spend with my children, and I still may pursue that avenue after this baby is born. For now though, I have to find ways to keep myself motivated. I want to do well at my job, and I put in the effort every day. I have always been taught that anything worth doing should be done well. Still, I wish every single morning that I could be at home, snuggling my pajama-clad Colin as he sips his milk instead of slapping on a new diaper and clean clothes, feeding him a super quick breakfast and rushing out the door before 7 am to drop him off at daycare and hustle downtown for work.

So how do I do it? How do I "keep on keeping on" and balance my job and my role as Mama? Well, it's hard to boil it all down, but here are a few highlights.

Faith. Trusting in God has definitely helped me stay sane through it all. Whenever I feel those pangs of guilt or frustration, I pray about it. Prayer is such a great release.

Daycare. If my kids have to spend close to 50 hours a week with someone else, I want to be able to trust them. Colin goes to a local church daycare, and they are great. His little brother will go there, too. I can call anytime to check on my little guy, we get a daily report that gives us details about his day, and they even send a menu home every month so we'll know what they'll feeding him each day. It's nice to know our little loves are in good hands when we can't be there.

Priorities. During the week, we rarely make commitments. After work, it's family time. Since Colin goes to bed around 8 most evenings, our time together is precious. 

Weekends. They're never quite long enough, are they? On Sundays, we go to church, so Saturday is usually the one day we have each week to do whatever the heck we want. Sometimes we have errands to run, but we do most of them together. We usually eat out at least once each weekend too, which I love. Sometimes a woman just needs a break from the dishes for one night!

It is certainly not easy to keep pushing forward when my day begins promptly at 6 am, I work all day long, and as soon as I walk in the door, my guys are wondering what's for dinner. Then it's "go, go, go" until we tuck Colin in, and then we turn our attention to anything around the house that's been put off. Oh, and Justin and I need to make time for each other, too, to keep our marriage strong. And have I mentioned that I'm 5 months pregnant? Yeah. It isn't easy, not at all. But I've come to the realization that life isn't easy. Not for any of us. I'm sure that if I got to live my stay-at-home-mom dream, I'd still have complaints. The grass is always greener, right?

I would love to hear some of your thoughts. If you work outside the home, how do you balance your work life and your home life? If you're a stay at home mom, what challenges do you face and how do you overcome those challenges?